So as promised this is my story.
9 years ago I had 1 ovary removed and chemo therapy to treat ovarian cancer. Sorry if this is very long and rambling but it was a long time ago so I have to remember how and what happened, and when.
I first noticed something wrong when we were staying with B's mum and dad at Christmas 2006. I was getting really bad back ache no matter how I was sitting. I also noticed swelling in my lower abdomen. My first thought was that I was pregnant. So after we were home I did a pregnancy test, or 3. All were negative but I looked pregnant so booked in at the docs for another test. Which was still negative. After feeling my belly he referred me for an ultrasound. After the ultrasound where they didn't tell me very much I very quickly received a Gynaecology appointment. The consultant told me I had a large cyst on 1 ovary which they wanted to remove as soon as possible. There wasn't any mention of cancer so I wasn't that worried at that point. He booked me in for the op and, at the start of February on a Wednesday, I had an op to remove the cyst, ovary, and fallopian tube. The cyst was 20cm so about the size of a melon!
After the op I was in hospital for just under a week B booked the week off work and got the bus 2 hours every day to see me. The other ladies on the ward loved him and luckily the nurses didn't mind him staying all day outside normal visiting hours. Then he'd get the bus home again or a lift with my mum and dad when they came to visit.
While I was in hospital the consultant mentioned cancer. He said he got it all and he was very happy with the procedure. The cyst was being sent off to pathology to find out if it was malignant. I was a bit shocked. There hasn't been any mention of the C word. I think the consultant thought it was obvious but I was only 19 so I just didn't think about it. I was obviously scared at this point. I associated cancer with dying. Everyone I knew who had cancer had died.
At my post op appointment a few weeks later I found out that my cyst had been all over the place. From Ipswich they had sent it to a hospital in Birmingham then on to another in Belfast. They decided that it was, this might not be exact as I never wrote it down, a large cell variant of a small cell carcinoma. Which basically meant that it was malignant.
After much deliberation and an appointment with an oncologist they decided that I should have chemo, just in case. I was told that the chemo could mean that I could struggle to have children and may not be able to at all. But I would be able to have IVF on the NHS if I needed it later as long as it didn't wreck the 1 ovary I had left.
The chemo wasn't as bad as I expected.
I would have a blood test on the Monday, as long as that was all
Ok for the next 3 days I would have 2 different bags of chemo by a cannula in my hand followed by 2l of saline so it would take 5-6 hours each day. Then I'd have 3 1/2 weeks of then it would all start again.
My mum and dad were amazing mum would come with me to hospital appointments when I needed her to and dad would pick me up each of the 4 days drive me the 25 miles to the hospital then pick me up later and take me home. I didn't want anyone with me for the chemo sessions because they were so LONG! I re-read the Harry Potter series. And many, many magazines.
I think I had 10 sessions of 3 days in all. After about 2 sessions my hair started to fall out. I had it cut very short (from shoulder length) because it was disgusting when it was coming out. I didn't lose it all. It went very thin and tufty. I shaved it even shorter at mums one night with their hair clippers and started wearing bandanas. Which I felt much less self-conscious about.
I was lucky. I didn't feel too bad. After the chemo earlier in the week I was still going to the pub but by the Friday I'd start to feel a bit crappy. That wouldn't last long and I was still working full time in between treatments. Everything tasted rubbish and I'd get tired very quickly but that was about it.
After the 10 treatments I was told that my CA125 blood test which is used to monitor certain cancers during and after treatment was at 7. Instead of about 130 when I'd started treatment.
To say I was relieved was an understatement. I still had 5 years of appointments every 3-6 months and a blood test each time before they finally gave me the all clear but after the chemo they were happy that the cancer was gone.
Everyone told me how brave I was but I didn't feel it because none of it was that bad. Scary at times but that's about it. I wouldn't have been as "brave" without B. I had times where I'd be scared and he would tell me everything would be ok.
And it was. He was amazing, so positive. If he was ever scared he never showed it and that was exactly what I needed.
They told me once that if it didn't come back in the 5 years of appointments that it never would but I still worry. I guess that's normal.
They were wrong about the chemo making it hard to get pregnant though. After only 3 months I was pregnant, it was such a relief. After years of not wanting to think too much about having children, not wanting to get my hopes up. I was pregnant. I didn't realise how much I wanted children until that moment. Me and B had always said that if we couldn't it wouldn't be the end of the world but we're so happy that we can. I can't bloody wait.
I'm actually looking forward to the sleepless nights and dirty nappies because I didn't know if I'd ever have that. Ok maybe not the nappies but you know what I mean.
A xx
